Mention roller skates and you either think of that dreadful advert for a certain feminine product, or you think 80s roller disco and Cliff Richard singing ‘Wired for Sound’ (unless you’re younger than I am anyway).
Not any more.
Manchester has its own roller derby team and there’s not a disco ball in sight.
For the uninitiated, roller derby is a contact sport – it’s aggressive, fast and oh so fun to watch. Two teams skate on an oval track, in an anticlockwise direction. You have three types of player a jammer, a pivot and a blocker. Whilst you tend to have more than 5 on a team (they are constantly cycled through during each bout), on the actual track there will be a total of 5 players – one jammer (identified by the star on their helmet), a pivot (identified by the stripe on their helmet) and three blockers. The aim of the jammer is to skate past the blockers, the aim of the pivot is to assist/direct the teams and the aim of the blockers is to stop the jammers – with their bodies.
Confused? Don’t be. Once you start watching, it’s incredibly addictive. And with the skills of people like Captain Malice and .Pinky Fingas commentating, you’ll soon understand – though this little guide won’t hurt.
Luckily Mr GFB and I managed to attend the last bout at the Sugden Sports Centre, which featured Phoenix Furies vs Furness Firecrackers (ladies teams) and New Wheeled Order vs Lincolnshire Rolling Thunder (mens teams).
Being beginners, we took a while to get the rules, but even before we did, it was fun, fast and the showboating (sometimes ending up in a bruised anatomy and slightly red face) often made up for it.
Getting to grips with the team members’ names is half the fun – everyone from Berty Bam-Bam, Booty Treatment through to Rainbow Smite, Kin’ell and Steffinitely Maybe. Even the refs get in on the act, with Mimey Vice, Buckingham Malice and Cecil B. DeMented. Every time out gives you the opportunity to ponder what your own name would be.
I’m very very pleased to say that (in the ladies’ bout at least) Manchester won. Both bouts were close, but sadly Lincolnshire Rolling Thunder proved too strong a team for New Wheeled Order and no amount of encouragement from us (despite coming away rather hoarse) helped.
And so as you never feel left out, at the end of every bout, all the spectators line up at the edge of the
The next bout for MRD is in Amsterdam – against the Derby Dames on 13 October. As I’m away this month already, I’m looking forward to the next local bout.
And I’m already thinking… once this marathon lark is over… maybe I should really have a go at something different…?
Massive credit goes to Shirlaine Forrest for the photographs – the very bad ones are mine – the brilliant ones are hers: http://www.shirlainephotos.co.uk/